Conservative vs. Liberal

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government handouts.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches the channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced (unless it's foreign religion, of course!).

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his. (ie. Obamacare)

If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs, and is embarrassed.
If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor and then sues.

If a conservative thinks a food or beverage is too fattening, he won't buy it.
If a liberal thinks a food/beverage is too fattening, he wants it taxed so that nobody will want to buy it. (Or have the toys taken out of Happy Meals if the kids' parents order the "wrong" thing.)

If a conserative likes a good cause, he volunteers for or donates to that cause.
If a liberal likes a cause, he wants taxes raised so everyone has to pay for that cause (no matter how stupid it is).

If a conservative disagrees with you, he'll present proven facts to back himself up.
If a liberal disagrees with you, he may present lies & upon your correcting him, he'll resort to name calling. (Like calling you a racist, unpatriotic, tea bagger, ect.)

If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it to his friends so they can have a good laugh. A liberal will delete it because he's "offended."